Celebrity

Patrick Schwarzenegger Shows Penis On His Birthday

Talent in every inch of his body.

Happy 33rd birthday to Patrick Schwarzenegger! The actor has spent the last decade steadily working his way from Hollywood offspring to bona fide leading man. These days, his career is hotter than ever, and we’re diving into everything that makes Patrick so irresistible (spoiler alert: A big dick) in this post. Balloons. Candles. Hey, it’s a birthday, you have to blow something.

Schwarzenegger had a head start with his Governator father and good looks, but his talent goes beyond his famous last name and great genes. Early appearances in Stuck in Love and Grown Ups 2 eventually led to Patrick's first major romantic leading role opposite Bella Thorne in 2018's Midnight Sun. He followed that with a much darker side in the cult horror flick Daniel Isn't Real.

Television gave Patrick an even bigger showcase for his sex appeal. After roles in The Staircase and The Terminal List, he suited up as Luke Riordan, aka Golden Boy, in Prime’s superhero spoof series Gen V. But his nude scene in Gen V is all smoke and prosthetics. Has our dream of nudity gone up in flames? (Psst, this is a picture of his burning, punching CGI penis).

Not so fast. Nothing could have prepared us for Patrick’s true breakout as Saxon Ratliff in Season 3 of The White Lotus. Playing the overly confident, sex-obsessed eldest Ratliff sibling, Schwarzenegger put his swagger to excellent use in two of the season’s most talked-about scenes.

In the premiere episode, he teases his younger brother with some awkward dirty talk before strutting to their shared hotel bathroom to jerk off to porn. Before the door shuts, we can see his hung cock hanging out! Looks like they’re staying at a Super 8 inches.

Later in the season, audiences got a gay brother hookup no one saw coming. Sam Nivola plays Patrick’s doe-eyed younger brother, and Sam misreads the signals during a wild night of drinking, jerking off his brother to completion while having sex with a woman. It’s a scene that a humble website like ours could only have dreamed of. Huh. Guess that Hollywood magic is still alive after all.

So what’s next for our stud? Schwarzenegger will star with Margaret Qualley in Love of Your Life, which hits select theaters October 7 before arriving on Prime Video October 14. Even bigger for romance fans is Beach Read, the adaptation of Emily Henry's bestselling novel, with Schwarzenegger playing the brooding male lead opposite Bridgerton star Phoebe Dynevor.

Schwarzenegger is also part of the stacked cast of Florian Zeller's psychological drama Bunker, alongside Javier Bardem, Penélope Cruz, and more stars.

Happy birthday, Patrick! Hope you seed again soon. I mean, hope to see you again soon.