Events

Fringe Spotlight: Night Terror

Eli Matthewson explores the chaos of modern life, long-term relationships, and the thin line between safety and panic.

Gaydar

16 Jul 2025 — 7 min read

Eli Matthewson returns to the Edinburgh Fringe with his latest show, Night Terror – exploring the chaos of modern life, long-term relationships, and the thin line between safety and panic.

In the show, Matthewson takes audiences through the chaotic terrain of modern relationships, blending personal anecdotes, observations, and stand-up. Central to the show is the time his boyfriend accidentally tried to strangle him in his sleep.

Dates: 30 July - 24 August
Venue: Underbelly George Square
Tickets: www.underbelly.co.uk

Eli Matthewson on How To Date Men

For our podcast, How To Date Men, we caught up with Eli Matthewson for a behind-the-scenes look at Night Terror.

In the conversation we talk long-term relationships, navigating anxiety, and negotiating who sleeps on which side of the bed.

Listen to the episode.

The jumping off point for this show is a moment when your boyfriend tried to strangle you in your sleep. What was the process that you followed to turn that moment of trauma into comedic gold?

It's kind of one of those stories where it basically just happened one night. It was such a shocking thing. I'm sure many people have experienced sharing a bed with someone while they have a night terror and this one involved an attack on me.

I found I was retelling the story to so many friends, I told it to my pub quiz group, and every time I told it, it was getting more and more laughs and I was like, you know what? Obviously this is an embarrassing private intimate moment, but unfortunately it's going so well in conversation it needs to go to the stage.

How does your boyfriend feel about that?

Honestly, I think he's 50 50. I think part of him loves the attention. I think sometimes he wishes he could sort of hang outside the door and clarify all the facts according to his memory.

The show explores long-term relationships - are you highlighting queer specific experiences or do you feel that the way we experience long-term relationships is fairly universal?

I think queer relationships are more special and better than straight relationships, obviously. And I will stand by that.

A big reason the night terror happened is because Sam thinks that I'm sleeping on his side of the bed.

And so a big part of the show every night is I always talk to the audience. Have you ever had this conversation where your partner wants to switch sides that you sleep on in the bed? How's the conversation gone? And it is interesting because I do think it's different for queer people, and it's different for lesbians than it is for gay men. Like this is a very intimate conversation that I think a lot of couples have.

What I found that's really freaky is the lesbian couples that I've talked to often like don't even have a specific side. They just do whatever they want every night.

How did the conversation with your boyfriend go then? How did that come up?

We bought a house together and that's the first time we moved in together.

We did a lot of years of long distance because he was studying. The rule was if it was your house, you slept closer to the door - you protect if there's an intruder.

There's something really primal with that, isn't there?

Yeah, exactly. In heterosexual couples, I find usually the man sleeps closest to the door. Maybe that's bladder issues, but I think it's also like a protection vibe.

Then it was our house - both our house equally shared - and I sleep near the door. When we first moved in, I was doing breakfast radio. So I started work at four at four in the morning. It very much made sense for me to be on that side.

Then I left that job and now I start work at like 7pm or whenever my show is, and Sam's like, I want the side back please. And it's a whole thing. He puts his phone on the charger on my side of the bed, which is a very aggressive move.

In the show, you're also looking at what it means to feel safe and how that lack of safety can cause our anxiety to quickly spiral. Has creating and performing the show has that helped you process and manage your anxiety? Or has it just sort of made you hyper aware of your triggers somehow?

I think it's helped me process. I wouldn't say I've been through severe trauma with this show, but we did get robbed four times, really quickly.

We never owned anything before we bought a house, we bought our furniture for the first time. Then so much stuff got stolen and so many people broke into our house. A few times where we were away, we watched on our security cameras as someone just broke into a house and was just going through our things - that does make you really anxious and really freaked out.

But the more I do the show and the more it's developed, the more I've realised that even though it's a very discomfiting feeling when someone's been through your stuff, but ultimately you're reminded of what's important in life. If someone steals a PlayStation 5, I don't know, might have to save up for a bit and buy a new one, but that's not the important part of our relationship.

We were only able to buy a house because I had a breakfast radio job for a year. We didn't have money and then suddenly we had some money. I never think that the money you have is essentially what you deserve. Everyone gets paid random amounts for the jobs they do, right? We've built a society where some people find it impossible to find a job and then they end up stealing things. And that's because of the society that we've created. I benefit from my privilege. I can't really be fully angry at the person who tried to steal my stuff because a lot of shit has probably happened to them, you know?

You've been performing this show in the lead up to Edinburgh - does that take some of the pressure off taking a show to Edinburgh? Because know how the show works - does that remove one of the unknowns?

It does in a way because I have done it so many times, but then there's always huge chunks of the show that you've got to remove. So much of this show initially was about New Zealand politicians that no one in the UK would know about. So you're always shaving things off, often putting new bits in.

The show is really polished, it's really tight. I'm happy with it. But there's always something you haven't thought of like last time I was in Edinburgh, I had a big bit about cars and all these comments about all these different types of cars. And then maybe on my 20th show, a Kiwi friend who lives in London came to see the show and she was like, you know, they don't sell any of those types of cars that you're talking about here. New Zealand is all Japanese imported cars and in the UK, they don't have any of those cars. So it didn't mean anything to anyone. So I've just been saying that every night being like, why don't these guys care about Toyota Corollas and then suddenly it became very clear.

This isn't the first time you've been to Edinburgh. Are there mistakes that you've learned from that you won't be repeating? Have you cracked the code on how to take a show to Edinburgh?

I wouldn't say that I've cracked the code, but every time you go through the full gamut of emotions, right? You go through a little bit of everything. Because I know how raw and difficult some of it can be, but I've also been through it before. You're kind of like aware and often sometimes the worst case scenario ends up not being so bad.

Last time I was there was when all the train drivers went on strike. And so there was a weekend where I had sold like plenty of tickets. I was like looking ahead, I was like, it'll be fine. And then I walked out on stage - there was four people there. People had bought tickets and just not showed up. But then that show to four people, I think they were all strangers as well - no one was with anyone else - it was definitely not the worst show. So I guess the more you do it, the more you're aware like it can go bad, but even when it's bad, you know, you get through it and it's all right, and you're stronger on the other side.

There's so many shows. It's so hard for everyone. So anytime you've got people, that's a miracle in and of itself. You know, I'm flying halfway around the world. There's no reason anyone would know who I am in the United Kingdom, unless they'd been watching New Zealand television via a VPN. I can't set my expectations too high. I've just got to be grateful that anyone would ever take the time out to see me.

What do hope that people feel when they come to see Night Terror?

To be honest, I just want them to laugh as much as possible. I delve into some semi-serious themes, but the ultimate goal is I just want you to have a fun time.

The show is kind of a critique on capitalism and all sorts of stuff like that, but I think we can talk about that stuff without getting heavy, without like, you know, it all being big words and hard economical things that we struggle to understand.

I hope it's a very tangible show that people can relate to the experience - it's just about going through something crazy with your long-term partner and what that does to your brain.