Fringe spotlight: Andrews Are The Worst

Kuan-wen Huang is heading to Edinburgh Fringe with his show, Andrews Are The Worst.

After years of heartbreak, manipulation, and unsolicited wellness advice, Kuan-wen has made one chilling observation: every villain in his life has been called Andrew.

• Dates: 1st – 25th August
• Venue: Hoots @ Potterrow
• Tickets: https://www.edfringe.com/tickets/whats-on/kuan-wen-andrews-are-the-worst

Kuan-wen Huang on How To Date Men

For our podcast, How To Date Men, we caught up with Kuan-wen Huang for a behind-the-scenes look at his show.

In the conversation, we talk red flags, inter-racial couples, and the patron saint of Scotland.

Listen to the episode

The genesis for this show is a realisation that all the villains in your life have been called Andrew. How did you end up dating so many Andrews?

When I decided on the title of the show and what I wanted to put in the show, I kind of wanted to also make fun of myself in case it's not obvious. I'm a very hurt woman and I'm venting my frustration.

I've dated two Andrews and if anyone wants to argue that, this doesn't seem a lot, I know more than one is too much, okay, just too much, too much, dude.

The second one specifically told me, I'm not going to be like the first one. Don't be scared. They even have the same initials. I bought cufflinks - the cufflink is A and B, which is the initials of the first Andrew. He didn't want it because he thought that getting a gift from me was like a commitment.

I kept it and I tried to give it to the second Andrew - because I’m fucking cheap - and the second Andrew didn't want it either.

So when the second Andrew said I'm not going to be like the first one, I was like, but you even share the same initials! I know like physically they’re nothing alike, but should I trust you? I mean like there are so many people on this entire planet. Two Andrews is is enough, right? Two of them is enough.

Although I'm kind and I'm reasonable because I still have a fuck-buddy called Andrew because we're just fucking so that's fine. He's the kind of guy that has the gorgeous dick but not much else - that's the perfect guy.

One of the things that you're touching on in this show is the power dynamics in interracial gay relationships. Could you share your perspective on how those dynamics work?

I think this resonates with a lot of Asian gay men. By Asian, I mean like East Asian. I don't know the experience of South Asians, but East Asians kind of know that we are kind of like a niche category and sometimes we are like a fetish.

So in a straight dating world, East Asian women are most likely to be found attractive with East Asian men, not necessarily so. It's because what they call an oriental culture is considered feminine by nature.

I have this line in my joke that when you go on Grindr, you do see a lot of people say that, No Asians, please. And sometimes I'll be like, dude, have a look at yourself in the mirror. You're so wrinkled like a ball-sac. You look like a facial representation of a scrotum. I don't think you are in any position to choose.

I think I've been through different phases and sometimes I don't want to really think about me being East Asian and pretend that there's no difference, it doesn't happen. And sometimes I will be obsessed with it and sometimes I will try to exploit it. 

I sometimes ask myself whether I'm a potato queen. I do like Caucasians but I also like many other races. I say in the show that I decided I'm I think I'm just an ethical slut - I just I I like my meat locally sourced. It's funny because after living in the UK for so long every time I go back to my home country I become very horny because I haven't slept with Asian men for a while.

What are your current dating tactics?

Actually, since the second Andrew, I haven't really bothered trying to date. I mean, occasionally I try. I mean, I have regular sex, I have fuck buddies, sometimes I look for a one night stand, but I haven't really bothered trying dating. And also in London it’s difficult because London is a city in transit. People come and people go and they feel like when there are too many choices, people stop choosing.

So I feel dating in London is like when you're browsing what to watch on Netflix and without knowing an hour has passed and you haven't made up your mind. 

Am I willing to give up all the options out there to be with this one. Also culturally there's something quite different - maybe you're not planning to give people exclusivity but this idea of seeing multiple people at the same time until you have the talk Is instinctively quite western to me.

You're not in favour of polyamorous relationships.

Not really. People who are in a polyamorous relationship, I mean, good for them. But once someone asked me whether I'd be interested in meeting him. I said, sure. He’s like, oh, that's great. Because I already scouted and found the first guy. And now we can have a triangular, like a three-way date.

A threesome?

No, not a threesome. If it’s a threesome. I'll go for it. It was a threeple first date.

A throuple? A throuple first date is madness.

Yeah, there's nothing worse than being rejected by two people at the same time.

This is a new show that you're taking to Edinburgh and you've been giving it a run at some work in progress performances. Is your anti-Andrew stance resonating with audiences?

I think it's working well but I'll be doing Fringe in Scotland where the patron saint is Saint Andrew.

I hadn't even made that connection. That is a punchy, bold move.

So the title came about when there was lots of bad press about Andrew Tait and Prince Andrew. I remember I was talking to other comedians in the green room. I'm like, I knew it, I always knew Andrews are cunts because I've dated them. And that kind of became like a reserved idea. And I wasn't sure whether I was going to do Fringe this year. So I was just going to write a new show, maybe do a YouTube special or something.

But then I thought what should I do because my last show was very political - I wanted to do something different.

You've performed at Edinburgh Fringe before. Have you learnt from previous mistakes? Have you effectively cracked the code of how to take a show to Edinburgh?

Edinburgh is so vast, the biggest art festival in the whole world. There are lots of factors that would determine what kind of audience you get. These days, your personal brand, your social media profile, and the show title and your poster all play a factor. For example, some venues would get more comedy nerds, some venues would get more upper middle class rich old pensioners and in the past when I did my last show I had the impression that I automatically attract a little bit more internationally mixed crowd and through some of the stuff I do maybe the clips I put on or the podcast I do - it’s called Comedy With An Accent - I attract people from cross-cultural backgrounds.

What do you hope that people feel when they come to see Andrews Are The Worst?

I don't want people to boycott or cut off all Andrews, but I want them to take some precautions. Just be careful.