Dating

Benvi: The interview

We talk dating challenges when you work in the adult entertainment industry.

Dallas Knoxxx

02 Mar 2025 — 5 min read

I got the chance to sit down with BadBoiBenvi. Benvi has starred in numerous scenes with popular brands such as KinkMen, SayUncle, SquirtStudios, DudesRaw, IconMale, and NoirMale. Having so much exposure in the industry, I wanted to pick his brain a little bit on his experience while dating as a porn star.

I wanted to learn how creators navigate their way through these hard and awkward moments.

Benvi gives us his perspective and shares his personal experiences.

I hope you enjoy the interview as much as I enjoyed chatting with Benvi!

Dallas x

How do you discuss your job with someone when you're first getting to know each other romantically?

“I’m usually pretty upfront with people about what I do for work from the jump. I don’t go around bragging or anything but I don’t shy away from the topic when people ask either.”

What boundaries, if any, do you set with your partner regarding your work in the adult industry?

“At this stage in my life I like to let romantic partners be themselves and I’d like the same in return. All I ask for out of any partner is open and honest communication.”

Do you feel that your job has impacted your own views on relationships or monogamy?

“I definitely feel like my outlook on my relationships has changed a little since becoming a porn actor. Many of my adult relationships have been open to some extent, even prior to porn. However this industry and some of the people in it that I’ve dated have definitely helped me feel more secure in myself as a polygamist and release that post-religious guilt I was holding on to.”

Have you found it easier to date people within the adult industry, or do you prefer dating outside of it?

“I’ve definitely found it easier to date those within the industry or at least industry adjacent. I haven’t really tried to date outside the industry since joining, but I’m not opposed to it.”

How do you stay emotionally and mentally balanced between your work life and personal love life?

“Right now I don’t necessarily have a love life to balance out my work life. In the past, it was really just about communication and putting in the effort to see each other. I’ve dated guys on the opposite coast and still made time to see them for a couple days at least once a month. Also, THERAPY! I receive my therapy through the amazing Pineapple Support Group which is a company that provides mental health resources specifically for sex workers.”

What has been one of the biggest challenges you've faced in dating due to your career?

“I would say my biggest hurdle to get over when it comes to dating in this industry is career jealousy both my own and others. There was this one guy I dated who, though he never said it out loud, it was very obvious that he hated seeing me do well in my career. Granted, I was just starting out in the industry and he had been around much longer and sort of stopped putting forth the effort. I’ve definitely felt this sort of jealousy with others as well but I’ve just always used it as motivation to push myself harder.”

Are there any stereotypes or judgments you wish people would let go of about dating someone in the adult industry?

“I just wish it wasn’t viewed as such a shameful thing to date a porn star. Like I thought it was some pretty beta male shit when that dude from Hot Ones broke up with straight female porn star, Melissa Stratton, the day after it became public news.”

Building trust is the absolute key in forming new relationships, so do you find it harder to build trust with new people because of the nature of your work?

“I’ve found it harder to build trust in potential partners outside the industry because they don’t often have the same mindset as my peers and I tend to.”

How does your career influence what you’re looking for in a long-term partner?

“I would say that my career has influenced what I look for in a partner in a few different ways. I’ve found that I am a little more selective with who I choose to give my time to, some may say vain, but I’m much more attracted to healthy men who have some sort of gym routine than I was before. Since joining the industry, I’ve gained a better sense of self and motivation for my long term future so I expect that same from potential partners as well. No more deadbeats.”

Dating in the industry or even just as a content creator has many disadvantages but there can be a lot of advantages too. It just goes to show that not everyone can be as accepting for those that choose to be in this industry. You have to make the most of your dating experiences and find the person that is going to accept you for everything you are, including your career; but Benvi has definitely made it work for himself!